Can we solve the migrant problem with free housing?
A trial run for a controversial new policy for simultaneously dealing with the immigrant crisis and the poverty gap was hailed as a success this morning in London, England, amid protests from various human rights groups.
“The plan is to find where they live, and burn those places to the ground,” said Sir Cecil Unlikely, one of the architects of the policy.
“As it turns out, it won’t be too hard as these people are always applying for benefits and allowances, so we have their addresses on file.”
At least 12 migrants have died after a huge fire engulfed a tower block in west London. Housing activists called the tower block fire a tragedy that was the result of a “combination of government cuts, local authority mismanagement, and sheer contempt for council tenants and the homes they live in”.
During the election she promised to not call, Theresa May was considered aristocratic, aloof, insensitive to the needs of vulnerable sections of society and “the first Nazi in history who can’t get the trains run on time”.
“Of course, the reliable bleeding-heart liberal moaners in the press don’t like it,” said Unlikely.
“Labour voters will find something to complain about everything, but the electoral rolls are public access, so we know where they live, too.”